March 30, 2011
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Here, just to be here
This is what comes up when I Google “wallow.”
I am loving. I am supportive. I am encouraging. I want the best for those who deserve it. I do not hesitate to offer assistance, commiseration, hope, and encouragement to those who are worthy. I love freely.
When someone is standing behind me when I am in tumultuous times and feeling weak, I make a point of taking my pessimistic negativity out of the equation as long as I am being supported. I feel like it is almost a requirement to be strong and offer up nothing but the best when someone is believing in me. Even though I may curse the heavens when I am facing an arduous task alone, if I have someone supporting me, I still put on my brave face until I believe it in the very core of my being. I feel like this is out of respect for those who believe in me. I refuse to let anyone down without going as far as humanly possible. I persevere. With someone believing in me, I never give up; at the worst, I will “do my absolute best and hope things go well.”
I feel like this is what makes having supporters that much more powerful. Not only are they there for assistance and support, but I am also an inherently stronger person with their presence.
When I support someone and receive mounds of pessimism, I start gravitating away from them. When I offer moral support to someone (sometimes that is ALL I can do), I want his/her to make an effort. If the someone decides that my support is not worth it, then I will cease and offer it to a more grateful recipient and hope that someone grows the hell up.
It is perfectly okay to complain and whine in small, reasonable doses. It feels nice to wallow sometimes. I know. However, when I am receiving an unprecedented amount of negativity in response to my persistent support, my heart drops. I can feel my dissatisfaction rising up inside, urging me to share the reminder that most of our First World problems are NOTHING compared to the other things that happen all over the world.
In short: When someone believes in you, please offer nothing but your best effort. When someone believes in you, please do not make them feel like an idiot. When someone believes in you, please do not show them why they should NOT. Good things happen to good people, but so do awful things. We must keep in mind that this too shall pass.
-b.
PS: When someone offers me their support, I make sure I remember to thank them graciously.
“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book
Comments (6)
very wise, dear B! It’s true, for the people in our life, we can be “on their side”, but ultimately, they are the ones who choose to make changes or not. People have a tendency to lash out, which unfortunately, just makes us want to pull away. Our 1st world problems are a drop in the bucket compared to the grand scheme of things, we are so fortunate in this country to have the resources & freedoms that we do.
@nerdyveggiegirl - Thanks, M. I really feel like I am (more and more, lately) not getting out of things that I put in. And guess what? I go all-in every time. It’s not cool to get less than 100% back. If it keeps going without a fix and I am stuck with it, I am going to end up emotionally bankrupt. :
Of course, these are… /First World problems.
‘emotionally bankrupt’
I read this whole thing, had a comment in mind and everything and ‘emotionally bankrupt’ threw me.
I feel you, man. I’m there quite often. I give give give until I’m blue in the face and rarely do people ever give back the way I give to them. It’s not in me to half ass anything, so instead of slacking on someone, I just feel like…well, ‘why am I not worth it to this person’.
I’ve felt ‘emotionally bankrupt’ a lot lately.
I feel you on this post. Definitely.
You’ve got my support! This week has been a “fuck it” week, just like last week.
@AlluringAddiction - Thanks for the support, Summer. <3 Emotionally bankrupt is definitely one of the best ways I can describe the feeling of running on empty. I hope things are working out alright on your end, friend.
@hesacontradiction - Thanks.
That last quote there…is actually a very good point.